Monsters Inside of Us

Small children fear the unknown world that lives in the dark. Every shadow, every noise, every trick of the light can make a child tremble in fear during the night. To a small child, danger lurks in every corner after they are tucked in bed and the lights go out. Monsters are real, and they are just waiting for an opportunity to devour them. They are hideous, snarling beasts with soulless eyes and mangled fangs that hide in the corners of the dark room. So they arm themselves with teddy-bears and nightlights and they brave the night entrusting their lives to those fierce warriors.

   Then the children grow up. They become adults and the teddy-bears and nightlights are no longer used. Their protection is no longer needed so they are thrown out, or boxed up and left behind. But the terrors of the night are still there for many of the people. One fear simply replaces the other. And teddy-bears and nightlights are useless against these new fears.

                It is in the night that our minds come alive with thoughts that can make a grown person fear the night again again, as if they were small children once more: What am I doing in this life? Where am I going? What if this is as good as it gets? What if this is the peak of my existence? Have I missed my true calling? What am I going to do? Should I throw caution to the wind and do what I always wanted to do? What if I am not good enough? What if I will be rejected? Why did I do what I did? Why did I not do what I wanted to do? Will this mistake or that mistake continue to define the course of my life? Will I ever be forgiven? Will anyone ever love me? Will I sleep alone for the rest of my life? Will I always feel alone?

                Thoughts that make our mind race and makes sleep elude us night after night. Thoughts that make people pray for the sun to show his rays again and the daily distractions to once again make them forget the nightly fears for at least a few hours. So they go about their routine until it is time to go home again. Then they distract themselves with celebrity gossip, reality television, the internet, and all the pictures of cats that can now be found on all the social networking sites.  

                    But the inevitable happens again, the time comes when the computers and televisions get turned off, the covers of our beds get pulled down and the lights go out. Many people have decided to obtain a new arsenal to use against the night. And the pharmaceutical companies are making a killing by selling drugs to drown out the fears of night. They are the adult teddy-bears and nightlights to use against the dangers of the dark.

                Because the dangers are still there. The shadows that lurked in the dark are now shadows that lurk in their own conscience. The strange bumps in the night are replaced by the scary noises that fill their minds. And the monsters that they knew were real when they were small children are still real. But the fear of them hiding in the closet, or huddled under your bed is gone. The monsters live inside our minds. And the monsters are not the big, scary, snarling, tangible beasts imagined in childhood. The monsters are the unhappiness, the self-doubt, the insecurities, and the regrets that live inside of us.