The revolving door

I have warned myself about this so many times over the past year that I long ago stopped keeping count. I told myself not to be hopeful. I told myself not to look into anything. All of the adorable things that you, I should just ignore them. I shouldn't fool myself into thinking that you do those things just for me. You are simply an adorable creature, so I should not fool myself into thinking that it’s a characteristic trail reserved only for me.

                And I miss you. When we don’t talk, I miss you. When you do not see me, I miss you. When you tell me that we should only be friends, I miss you.

                How can we though? How can we honestly just be friends? After everything that we have been through? After all of the tears, and the fights, and the kisses, and the making love, and the screaming, how can we be just friends?

                I should have known better. I should have known that you would do it again. Let’s face it, when it comes to you, my heart is a revolving door. You have unlimited visits and can come and go as you please. Every time I try to lock it, you show up again, and I freely give you the key to unlock the door again.

                I wish I knew how to stop. I wish I knew how to let you go. I wish I could expel the ghost of you that surrounds me every hour of every day.